Awareness is the first step to changing the pattern.
Describe a recent moment where you clung, pulled away, or tested the relationship.
It might have looked like checking their location, going cold, starting an argument to see if they'd leave, or not replying for hours.
Attachment theory (Bowlby, Ainsworth, and later Levine & Heller) describes how early relational experiences shape our automatic responses to closeness and distance in adult relationships. The first step in changing anxious or avoidant patterns is building awareness — observing the pattern without being swept away by it. This exercise uses a specific recent example to make abstract attachment concepts concrete and personal.